


Raimon and Walking Disasters 101

by AshenLucith



Category: Inazuma Eleven, Inazuma Eleven GO
Genre: AkaMido - Freeform, And then identities/attraction:, Calamity, Chaos, Comedy, Crack, Disaster, F/F, Funny, GouKi - Freeform, HamaHaya, HayaHama, Headcanon, Humor, I just love making Kidou angry okay?, I’ll just tag the very slight interaction of other ships here:, I’m kinda not sure if this is sapphic enough for sapphic week but hopefully it is, M/M, Multi, Other, Phone Call, ace tenma, be gay do crimes, be gay do crimes haruna x ranko, bisexual Yuuichi, chaotic - Freeform, day 5 phone call, demiroace Kidou, gay Tsurugi, goukidou, kyouten, lesbian Haruna, lesbian Ranko, queer aoi, questioning aoi, raimon eleven go, raimon go, sapphic week, well slightly crack i guess, wlw, yeah I still don’t know what to put in the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26306611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshenLucith/pseuds/AshenLucith
Summary: Kidou’s insisting that Haruna isn’t supposed to be “flirt-calling” someone while she’s at work, Haruna retorts that it isn’t even work time yet, Raimon Eleven stares at their assistant coach and their counselor in horror as they’re reminded of the long-forgotten golden rule ten years ago:Never anger the siblings, especially not at each other.
Relationships: Endou Mamoru & Raimon Eleven Go, Karibe Ranko & Endou Mamoru, Kidou Yuuto & Endou Mamoru, Kidou Yuuto & Karibe Ranko, Kidou Yuuto & Otonashi Haruna, Kidou Yuuto & Raimon Eleven Go, Otonashi Haruna & Endou Mamoru, Otonashi Haruna/Karibe Ranko
Kudos: 12





	Raimon and Walking Disasters 101

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry for being awfully late for things. I know now that I can only be free on weekends (Lmao at me for only realizing this after 2-3 weeks of online class). For now, this is my day 5 entry for Sapphic Week! I’m verily thankful for fiat_luz for doing this event (I love these sapphics), for still accepting late entries, and for all the lovely comments they’re putting on my works. That means the world! Thank you and I’m sorry for not being able to reply fast. I need to restrict myself with interactions just so I can finish my school tasks. Unfortunately, I need to go that far.
> 
> Prompt: Phone Call for Otonashi x Karibe
> 
> I don’t know when was the last time I’ve written in third person omniscient but I want to give it a try again, hopefully I’m doing it right. Do tell me if not. Events of this fic happening somewhere around episode 40 btw, 2 days before the holy road finals.
> 
> Just a little background that exists in this story, Karibe studied in Teikoku the same year Kidou did.
> 
> Lastly, EVERYBODY’S GAY! If you don’t like that then please leave.

Two days away from the holy road championship, raimon eleven find themselves in a rather sketchy situation. There’s an underlying heavy air in the clubroom and no one wants to be the person to point it out.

The assistant coach Kidou Yuuto sitting on the couch makes another instantaneous sideway tilt of his head— as if something just clicked— as he crosses his arms and taps his finger on them irritatingly. His glare follows his sister who’s gleefully walking around, giggling happily, and cheerfully twirling her hair at her fingertips at what the person at the other end of the phone was saying.

Kidou clicks his tongue as Otonashi walks in front of him. Otonashi notices the action, halts, and raises an eyebrow. They make eye-contact, Otonashi even places a hand on her hip. The atmosphere becomes thicker and everybody knows what’s coming next.

“Aren’t you _supposed_ to be preparing for today’s practice?” There’s poison on his words, raimon eleven flinches.

Otonashi takes the hand on her hip and gestures at the table where the players’ drinks, towels, and her video recorder was placed. “Haven’t I already?” She says, her tone dancing between sarcastic and taunting.

“Mental preparations are _necessary._ ” Kidou’s face seems to darken further as he slowly pronounces the last word.

“ _Oh?”_

Raimon eleven makes a collective gulp, knowing full well the pattern of Otonashi’s rare ‘defiance mode.’

“Why aren’t you doing it then?” The glower Otonashi makes at her brother gets him up his seat in a millisecond, her eyes still scornfully accusing at him.

“ _I am_ mentally prepared.” Kidou doesn’t move from where he’s standing but he makes it a statement to face his whole body towards Otonashi. “Unlike _some_ people, I haven’t been _distracted._ ”

 _“Distracted?!”_ Otonashi’s pitch skyrockets as she makes a space between her cellphone and her ear. Just as she places both her hands on her hips in a scolding manner and opens her mouth, she suddenly remembers something and seals her lips. Otonashi breathes in, and then out. An unrecognizable smile paints her face.

Kidou instinctively and angrily makes a small step backward with one of his feet. He knows full well that Otonashi’s getting ready for a counterattack.

Rather than a verbal attack, however, she decides on taking the hand holding the phone back to her ear. With a smirk towards her brother’s way, she says, “You okay with seeing each other later, _babe?_ ”

A vein pops on Kidou’s forehead as he grinds his teeth. _No. You didn’t!_

Otonashi presses something on the phone and doesn’t bother to put it close to her face.

**“Awww sweety… Yes, a little R &R before the big match would be nice.”**

“You _wouldn’t._ ”

**“Is that your brother? I see.”**

“Yes, baby. Don’t worry, I’m going. I’ll text you where we’ll meet after practice.” Every word that comes out of Otonashi’s mouth was said all the while keeping an intense eye contact with Kidou and the older of the two is more than just livid.

**“Take it easy there.”**

“Love you, dear.” Otonashi turns off the call, slides her phone inside her pocket, then crosses her arms, mimicking the man in front of her.

Kidou grinds his teeth tighter, one of his eyes obviously twitching in fury. “You’ve known each other _for less than a week!!”_

“We’re adults!! And dating isn’t bound by time!”

_“You don’t know her!”_

“Well why don’t you tell me about her?! You knew her since you were 13!”

“She tried to prank the team every single week!”

“Because you didn’t let her join!”

“We aren’t legally allowed to let her join that time— _wait!_ ” Kidou interrupts himself as he backtracks at her argument. “So _you do_ know!”

“It doesn’t make any difference!”

“Yes, _it does_!”

The two continue their argument as the team watch them in horror. Raimon eleven fails to ignore the elephant in the room and prays for their tardy coach to arrive soon.

Hamano drags Hayami outside the room before his boyfriend starts getting affected by the negativity; his mental health first, whatever consequences after. Amagi, Kurumada, and Sangoku share a corner in the clubroom as they discuss what they can do, when they can do it, and whether they’ll come out alive after they do it.

Kirino, initially looking after Kariya to prevent him from escalating the situation, is now just pondering what Shindou would do if he’s here. _‘He’ll definitely just walk out of the room without a care, won’t he?’_ Kirino can’t help but think as he’s reminded of Shindou’s apathetic side when it comes to people he deems capable of rational thought— apparently though, his own teammates aren’t part of those people he dubs to be such. He’s not wrong though, Otonashi and Kidou _are_ capable adults, it’s just unfortunate they’re not acting like some. Kirino then turns his head towards his target earlier and can only feel sympathy at him.

Kariya is currently shaking out of fear as Hikaru hugs him tightly. Apparently, the two have just been made aware that there are people scarier than the ones they call the scariest— Midorikawa for Kariya, and his own mother for Hikaru.

Kurama and Tsurugi, despite being one of the bravest of them, are obviously sweating as the adults’ lines slowly become more inappropriate for cinnamon rolls like Hikaru and Tenma. Nothing’s more nerve wracking than explaining adult terms to literal rays of sunshine. And Tsurugi definitely _does not_ want to be the one to be telling his boyfriend about _that._

Midori holds Akane within her arms. She knows full well that her eccentric girlfriend is crazy enough to record the whole fight. Midori knows that she’ll be chewed by the siblings too if they see her do exactly what she’s planning.

“But it’s for docu—!”

Midori makes the effort to gingerly clasp her hand over Akane’s mouth despite already holding her. There’s no way she’ll let her face unanticipated consequences.

Aoi hides behind Midori and Akane, her hand over her face. No. This is definitely not the end for her! Not when she just realized she likes girls!!

Nishiki takes the place beside Aoi, his knees close to his chest as he hides his face from the demon that’s becoming of the two adults. Oh to be Aoyama and Ichino right now, probably only busy prepping up the second team for their practice match with them later.

Shinsuke, amidst the calamity, tugs on the hem of Tenma’s jersey. Shinsuke cups his hand over his cheek, making Tenma lean and lend him his ear. “Hey, Tenma,” the smaller teen whispers. “Shouldn’t you do something about this?”

“Is _this_ part of a captain’s duties too?!” Tenma whisper-shouts, trying not to gulp in fear.

“But coach Endou isn’t around. There’s no one else to do it.” Shinsuke’s voice shakes, it doesn’t surprise Tenma that he’s feeling the same way, but what can he do? Tenma may be the captain now but these are formidable adults: one of them _the_ former Teikoku commander Kidou Yuuto; and the other, the fearless guardian of Raimon, Otonashi Haruna. There’s no one capable of going between them. To make matters worse, their history doesn’t make it easy for anyone to conjure the courage to be targeted by the two if they ever deem you interrupting their speech.

Tenma’s line of thought travels back in time to ten years ago, remembering the story passed down to them regarding the birth of the Inazuma Golden Rules.

The legend was that there was a silent agreement among the raimon eleven that if you’re considered a walking disaster by the rest of the team then you’ll earn a place among the golden rules. This started after a streak of catastrophe laid upon the raimon team as they became closer to one another and forgot about boundaries. Thereafter, on Endou’s third year of being captain in the school, the Inazuma Golden Rules took root. The founders of this tradition were able to identify four threats and were able to list down three rules that should have only applied to their batch:

  1. Never start a fistfight lest you want to awaken the Devil.
  2. Never anger the siblings, especially not at each other.
  3. Never disobey the coach.



The anonymity of the people in it was done for those foolish enough to break the rules just because they were told not to. Luckily, rules 2 and 3 already speak for themselves as the team gets a taste of the repercussions of breaking them every so often. After a year, mostly due to the fact that one of the said siblings was still in Raimon, the golden rules continued and Otonashi made it to the number one spot with a simple: _Never anger the Head Manager._

Tenma feels a chill on his spine at the memory. _‘She was a number one calamity once, and she’s currently at number three now!’_

He then hugs himself as his tiny slob of confidence in stopping the siblings flies off the window. _‘Coach Endou, where are you?!’_

“ _How dare you_?! She _is not_ a bad person!”

The remaining members’ attention is called at how high Otonashi’s voice has gotten.

Otonashi leans forward. “You know who the ‘bad guy’ is?” She air quotes as she makes a face.

_“Your sociopathic ex-boyfriend trying to control soccer!!”_

Tsurugi drops his beloved phone at the news, the rest of the team gasps at the tea, Tenma wants to abandon captain duties that time and just scream so badly.

“He dated Ishido Shuuji?!”

The glare Kidou makes at the teenagers’ chorus shout is enough to close their mouths as soon as they open it. Most of them know—can tell that Kidou’s gay, what they didn’t know is that he has such a… such a questionable taste in men.

That thought, of course, is something Tsurugi doesn’t share for he knows Ishido’s real identity. ‘ _G_ _ouenji-san and Kidou-san dated?!’_

Gouenji being out as bisexual in the pro-leagues shouldn’t make this much of a surprise for anyone, especially considering he and Kidou were on the same team and are—were(?) good friends. It’s still a shock for Tsurugi to know since the rumoured names of people that Gouenji dated have never mentioned Kidou, and said rumoured people don't share any qualities with him either. _What about Tsurugi’s theories about Gouenji’s type???_

Tsurugi flicks his cheek with a finger. Why does it matter? Tsurugi makes peace of the information easily as he remembers that one of the reasons his parents doesn’t think it’s a big deal for their first child to be bisexual and the second to be homosexual is the representation they have on the biggest stage in Japan, that time of which Gouenji shares with some of his former teammates. It doesn’t matter if who he likes doesn’t align with who Tsurugi and some other more of his fans think. What matters is that he and most of the Inazuma Legend Japan along with their friends that didn’t make it in the national team made it easier for the younger generation to be accepted by their parents and immediate community.

Before Tsurugi dives in on another socially relevant discussion with himself, Kidou and Otonashi start a fierce insult competition. Unlike the first part, this time is only full of outright slander and unceremonious throw of insults. Tsurugi admits that he’s impressed at their vocabulary, but is still disappointed at the act itself. Not in front of Tenma and Hikaru!

The door opens and a man everyone’s waiting for enters the scene.

“I’m sorry I’m laaaa— uhhh.”

Endou freezes with an unusual neutral expression on his face that equals his never-before-heard monotone. “It’s happening again. And this time, we won’t be able to call him.”

Endou reminisces the times when the team pitches in Gouenji whenever a ‘Kidou-Otonashi incident’ occurs. Endou forces his head to work as he thinks about another person who has the two qualities that made Gouenji capable of stopping a catastrophe that is the sibling’s play-by-play of insults. Said qualities being: **1.** A talented enough actor to act terrifyingly angry (without shouting, at that) about the ruckus, making the two backtrack; and **2.** A neutral party sociopathic enough to guilt trip two angry ‘golden-rule’ level disasters with words alone and pretending to be disappointed that they’re treating their sibling as such.

After giving up on thinking, Endou’s mind switches to why did he not realize that Gouenji has traits that would make him a controlling leader all along. It was tolerable when he was just using it on the team for fun, or you know, to stop the in-fighting.

Kirino’s the first to approach him as he continues on with his reverie. The others who can still think for themselves despite the circumstances follow Kirino’s lead.

“Coach—!”

Kirino pauses on his upcoming sentence as Endou closes his eyes. The team stares at him in doubt as he finally opens them again.

“Don’t worry, everyone. I’ll think of something,” he says as he convinces himself that there isn’t a problem that can’t be solved, like how he does so time and time again. Although supposedly disconnected to team or soccer matters, the issue that is ‘Kidou and Otonashi’ should still be settled. The mental stability and morale of the team depends on it.

Endou takes in a breath and steps forward, silently hoping at the back of his mind that he’s actually adult enough to handle this task.

But before he even reaches the line of sight of the siblings, the sliding door is kicked down and a track-suited brunette enters.

“Ah who— _uhhh.”_

Endou can only gravely stare at the caved-in blue door at the floor, feeling a cold sweat down his forehead as he ponders at what extent will ‘they’ let him keep his job. Putting the fact that he already resigned in the pro-league into account, he’s really hoping they forgive him for this one. He won’t be ousted like Kudou, will he?

Karibe passes Endou almost like she doesn’t acknowledge his existence, which makes raimon eleven remove themselves from her way. For some reason, they never judge her as someone dangerous back when they first met her at their match with Arakumo Gakuen. They found her rather gentle, actually. They wish they still do.

Karibe, with a lipsticked poker face, makes herself known to the bickering duo. “Howdy bottoms.”

Commotions at the teens’ side are heard but Kidou doesn’t hesitate to greet her back.

“ _Karibe._ ” He doesn’t forget to leave a sign of hostility either.

“Captain— or should I say _nii-san_.” Without a moment to lose, she replies with a cheerful-sounding greeting of her own, obviously laced with _‘intentions_.’

 _“Since when did you start calling me that?!”_ Kidou spats and Otonashi steps in a protective manner in front of her girlfriend, not like she needs it though.

“Lay off! It was awfully _nice_ of her to call you that!” Karibe lays a hand on her shoulder, Otonashi softens at the touch despite putting out a tough demeanor. Otonashi can feel the smile that Karibe’s doing over her shoulder. “I called you a lot of worse things today...” Without meaning to, Otonashi finds herself thinking back at all the harsh things she’d thrown at his direction and feeling bad at them.

“ _Yes._ You did.” Kidou answers a lot calmer than he’d ever been that day. Otonashi’s eyes droop in reaction. His voice sounds hurt. “But I did too.”

Kidou’s admission to his mistake makes Otonashi teary. “I’m sorry.” Kidou’s soft apology pushes Otonashi to run to him for a hug. Kidou returns the gesture without speaking another word.

There was a collective ‘awww’ from the non-frightened people on the other side of the room.

Endou hits the bottom of his fist at the palm of his other hand. _‘That’s right!’_ There’s a third criteria that can stop the legendary sibling debacle that he’s forgotten about, or more like, that he’d always dismissed because it didn’t seem like it was acting. The ‘provide affection to your partner and then make their sibling angrier at you than how they’re angry at each other’ tactic! Now that he thinks about it, it was probably not acting on Gouenji’s part, but then again, it was Gouenji doing it, it was hard to be sure. What Endou knows right now though is that Karibe doesn’t need to act to have been able to resolve the issue and that she was able to help them out of their present predicament. Hopefully, he still can contact her for future ‘problems’ as well.

“I’m sorry too.” Otonashi smiles at her brother as they break the hug to which he responds with one of his own. Otonashi’s grin grows bigger, her brother doesn’t smile as often as he used to anymore, she’s happy to see him like this. She hopes he stays like this.

Speaking of smiles, Endou just makes the biggest one of all to no one’s surprise. “Aaahh. Finally.” He then gestures a big hug to the other three wherein Kidou responds by placing a palm over Endou’s face.

“You’re late.” He then makes it apparent that he’s pushing Endou away. “We’ve been waiting for you the whole day.”

“Uh. I. Kidou…” Endou tries to say something that may quell Kidou’s irritation. As he gets a peek of Kidou’s face, however, he realizes it’s too late.

Kidou then stares at the team who instinctively makes a quick step back.

“Practice. Now.”

“Yes, sir!!”

Just as the room clears out of teenagers, Kidou lets go of Endou. The coach then quietly walks outside as he scratches the back of his head. “Man, he never changes.” They hear him mutter.

Kidou makes a silent _‘I can say the same to you,’_ in his head before looking behind him where the two women are.

Otonashi sees Kidou looking at Karibe and she takes Karibe’s hand to hold as a reflex.

“There’s just one thing I want to clear out.”

Karibe nods in all seriousness, squeezing Otonashi’s hand as she waits for what Kidou has to say.

“You can be with her without calling me ‘nii-san.’”

A genuine grin makes its way through Karibe’s face. To think Kidou actually comes through. They were right, he really did change. “I make no such promises.”

Kidou’s eyebrow makes a signature lift.

“You’d totally make a cool brother of two chaotic lesbians.”

**Author's Note:**

> HC that Haruna and Kidou don't always fight (just maybe once every 3-5 months) but when they do, it’s a battle to remember. Raimon (go) has seen Otonashi and Kidou angry lots of times tho just not at each other.
> 
> I want everyone to know that the Inazuma Golden Rules exist in all my inazuma fics (even if the stories don’t exist in the same universe; some of them do tho) and the four people in the rules are always the same four people (except maybe if I write about an AU where the raimon school doesn’t exist or something). People don't need to have been able to read this fic to know about it tho, I’ll probably explain the concept again on my other fics where it’ll be relevant. I just really love this rule, okay? (I’m also only gonna be talking about golden rule disaster #1 on one fic, a multi-chapter one that’s obviously LGBTQIA+ too because you can’t catch me missing representation).
> 
> On other news, the fact that people think Kidou’s taste in men is a flaw, I—
> 
> Finally, my dream to slander Kidou at his face is finally accomplished! LMAO JK sjskhskshskshsk. Sorry, he’s my favorite character and I can’t help but put dirt on his name. This is really making me want to write a Kidou-centric series though. I really want that. But my other one first.
> 
> P.S.: The moment Karibe pops out the screen in inago, I screamed “gay!” Don’t tell me she doesn’t have “your daughter calls me daddy too” energy


End file.
